Patrick, Mon Amie

When I was 22ish, I met my friend Patrick. We originally met at a corner bar in Clifton called JR's, and had friends in common. One night, at a club called The Jockey Club in Newport, KY, we found ourselves sitting alone at the bar at like 1 in the morning, and we started chatting. Twenty years later, to this day, we are still chatting. It's been one long conversation that's lasted two decades.

Knowing Patrick has taught me a lot about men. I always believed that men who were really handsome were shallow. Turns out, I was wrong. Patrick looks like a young Paul McCartney with a twist of a young Nicolas Cage. He has very dark hair, and very green eyes. He cracks me up to no end, so smart and witty. On top of all that, he'll sit on the phone for hours with me analyzing ourselves and human nature.

Patrick is also one of, if not the best, storytellers I've ever listened to. Here's one of my personal favorites:

One day, Patrick is riding the Metro, which is the name of the bus system in Cincinnati. The bus was crowded, every seat taken. When he sat down in the front of the bus, he noticed this guy who was talking to himself and yelling at everyone else. The entire bus couldn't take their eyes off this guy, like a car accident that you don't want to look at but have to. Suddenly, they guy stops yelling and starts picking his nose, the whole bus still watching. Patrick knew it was gonna be a huge booger because the guy was digging at his nose like it was a construction site. And, then, much to the entire buses horror, he started pulling out a thick yellow booger, and he pulled, and the booger stretched, and stretched, as he pulled and pulled, and suddenly, when the booger was like 4 inches away from his nose, IT SNAPPED!! As half the booger stuck to his finger, and the other half hit him in the face, the entire bus, in unison, yelled "EWWWW". And then, the worst thing that could happen happened, he ATE IT! Once again, in unison, the people on the bus yelled "UGHHHHH".

Maybe you had to be there, but that story still makes me laugh. Sometimes, I make him tell me again and it cracks me up all over again. Now, pull my finger.