When Trisha Got Married

Trisha was the very first close friend I had to get married. She dated her husband for a couple of years, he was ten years older than us, very grown-up, and very much her polar opposite. He was very responsible, made good money, and loved Trisha desperately. He went about winning her over with every ounce of the salesman he was, and he was a great salesman.

I, of course, hated him instantly. Both Trisha and I were raised in matriarcle households, and I didn't know nothing about no alpha male. Eventually, the Boss won me over, but I had to have been the most belligerent, cranky-ass maid-of-honor any poor bride ever got stuck with. Trisha was also my matron-of-honor when I got married years later, and she was so wonderful to me, which was punishment enough for my earlier behavior. Damn, I'm pissed at myself to this day about being such a shitty maid-of-honor.......more like maid-of-horror.

Anyimabitch, Trisha marrying the Boss changed both of our lives. It introduced us both to what we thought was how normal people lived. The Boss had a big grown up job at a very well known company and was very successful. Eventually, he started his own distribution company and became extremely wealthy. One of the fun things about him was that he liked to spend his money keeping up with the Jones's, and that shit was too fun. I liked it...there, I said it!

Soon after they married, Trisha and the Boss moved to Atlanta. It was the first of two moves around the country that Trisha never returned from, except for the occasional visit. But in true-blue Trisha fashion, she would send for me no matter where she lived, and I would always go.

When Trisha and I get together, we hang around. Neither one of us were really raised to be domestic and neither one of us were particularly motivated when it came to house chores, nor were we very particular. The Boss, on the other hand, was a neat freak, wanted things done just so, and God forbid they ever ran out of paper towels. Everything was always fully stocked and in its place.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing. In many ways, Trisha and I needed adult supervision. He had a way of keeping us on the straight and narrow. We were not the most structured of girls. Like I mentioned earlier, Trisha and the Boss were polar opposites.

As the years went by, they became wealthier and wealthier. It was were I learned the concept of "when one of us do well, we all do well". Trisha is extremely low maintenance, and I think she always felt secretly guilty about having so much money.

She is not a shopper, not into clothes, doesn't care that much about "stuff". What Trisha did love doing was giving away the Boss's money. Not spending it, giving it away. If times were tight for me, she'd pay my rent. She loaned me the down payment for my first car. I have sat with Trisha and watched her write check after check to ALOT of charities. She wrote those checks once a month, every month. The Boss and Trisha took me to swanky places, on vacations, and were so good to me, it was like I had married well. Trisha, even before her good fortune, was always giving and generous and now she really had the tools to work with. If her family ever wondered why I always tried to be so good to them, it was because Trisha was always so good to me. You play it forward.

The Boss was often frustrated with us. There was what I like to refer to as "The Hamburger Incident of 1985". They were living in Atlanta at the time, and had two small children. The Boss traveled a lot, and Trisha was left to take care of the babies. I was in town visiting, and as soon as the Boss hit the runway, we hit the chill mode.

Before he got back, we went to the grocery store, which was a huge endeavor because the Boss liked to buy in bulk. Trisha bought this huge mega lump of hamburger, which would be dived into smaller sections once we got it home.

When the Boss got back from his business trip, everything seemed cool. We never got around to breaking up the hunka hunka hamburger, so it remained in the fridge. Everyday, the Boss would ask if we had done the hamburger. Everyday, we forgot. Finally, on the third day, we hid it in the freezer. When the Boss discovered it there, HE WAS SO PISSED! I, of course, was mesmerized, because we had done much worse things and he never got that pissed.

Eventually, they moved out to the land of fruits and nuts. Yes, they went west, where Trisha still lives today. She's no longer married to the Boss, and I'm no longer married to mine. Looking back on it, though, those were some great adventures that we would never have had, had Trisha not married the Boss.

The Kids from the Old Neighborhood

Tami and I grew up in a neighborhood named Roselawn, where we attended Roselawn Elementary. As I mentioned in an earlier post, we met on the first day of kindergarten and enjoyed many a snack time together. It's where I got my very first brain freeze, drinking the milk from the red and white mini carton too quick, and thought my eyes were gonna pop out of my head like that slick wolf's cartoon character in the in the zoot suit does whenever he see's a hot bitch. Ahhh, those were the glory days at Cincinnati Public, back when they still refrigerated the perishables.

Along the way, I met the group of friends that I'm still hanging out with 40 years later. After Tami, I met Traci, the third of my three T's. We would have met Traci in kindergarten, except for she was still home in diapers because she's two years younger than us.

Traci is the friend whose life has most paralleled mine as far as timing goes. We were lucky enough to have our children around the same time, and went through all that together. We once quit smoking at the same time without knowing the other was doing it. While Traci still doesn't smoke to this day, I started again after 12 years of not smoking. Sorry, I'm weak. So shoot me.

Anypuffpuff, after we met Traci, next came Jimmy. After Jimmy, we met Dean. After Dean, we met Patrick. After Patrick, we met Cathy. And that completed the core group we would travel through time with.

Jimmy, who moved to San Francisco years ago, was in town for Easter this year. Traci hosted a party for him at her house, and we were all there. So, I got to looking around the room

Trisha Delisha

As I mentioned in an earlier post, when it comes to girlfriends, I have what I consider to be the three greatest loves of my life; Tami, Traci, and Trisha. It's important that I introduce you to all three, because they come up in my stories a lot. This post is about Trisha.

The first time I saw Trisha was outside of the entry way to our high school. There was this huge building maintenance mechanical metal thing, which to this day I have no idea what the hell it was, but it sat in our presence, on a huge block of cement, watching over us like a griffin. Trisha was sitting there by herself, one leg crossed over the other, observing the chaos around her.

I can still see her like it was yesterday; she was wearing a light blue t-shirt with little cap sleeves, bell bottom jeans that were a little on the long side, and brown suede shoes. She had long curly hair, which she kept in a tight ponytail behind her ears, in an attempt to tame what was one of her greatest assets. Trisha is unusually beautiful, and when she was young, she worked at downplaying that beauty. Her eyes were always so blue, sometimes I thought they were violet, and it was the depth of her soul that created that illusion.

Trisha is the oldest of three children, and always had a ton of responsibility. Her mother raised them by herself, and worked really hard. A lot of the day-to-day stuff, like driving kids to school, making sure everybody was accounted for after school, grocery shopping, etc., fell to Trisha. She never complained not once, to this day. But I noticed, and it made her very serious at a very young age.

Have I mentioned how brilliant Trisha is? I'm talking card carrying Mensa member. She always tried to get me to take the Mensa test because she always assumed I was as smart as her. This is not the case. It was another shining part of Trisha that got downplayed. To this day, I would bet their are people who know her well that have no idea that she was the Valedictorian of her graduating class.

Someone who did recognize her brilliance was our school principle. He always had all these Trisha schemes, and I was always first in line behind her because I was her number one believer. This school principle, who is an entire post all in himself, had Trisha spear-heading all kinds of political endeavors.

One scheme involved Trisha's leadership in protesting the discrimination of students in Clifton because store owners wouldn't let us in more than two at a time. Off the class went, to testify at a full city council meeting, media and all. Jerry Springer was the mayor of Cincinnati at the time, and the whole thing was very official. The entire class freaked at the last moment, and no one would get up to testify. So there I was, not even part of the class, just there hanging out with Trish, and she volunteers me. Considering that I would jump off a cliff if Trish asked me (mostly because I know she never would, unless there was a crazed mob behind us) this seemed like a reasonable request. So, I walk up to the podium with all my 15 years of life experience behind me, nod my head in greeting to all the officials and say "Congressman". The whole room starts laughing and Jerry says "Yeah, we wish".

My second favorite is when the school principal convinced Trisha to run for the Cincinnati Public School Board, thereby making her the first actual student to ever sit on the board. In theory, a great concept. She went to be interviewed at the Enquirer newspaper, had a photo taken, I know this because, as usual, I was hanging around. It really was a big deal. Unfortunately, the school principal, after the initial hoopla, kinda disappeared and didn't help like he should have. The worst part of running for office is the damn signatures, you have to have a gazillion of them to even get on the ballet. We spent hours and hours collecting signatures at grocery stores and in the end, it was just too much. We just didn't have the grown up support. Trisha always blamed herself, while I always blamed the school principle, whom I've disliked ever since.

That was always an ongoing theme with Trisha: getting grownup responsibilities dumped on her when she just should of got to be a kid. I knew she was really sad because her compassion and intellect were so overwhelming. Maybe I was the only one who knew it. I always wanted to be the doberman to her angel, and support and protect her, because she deserved me.

Trisha and I have had many adventures together, and will remain close forever. Her sense of what is right and her generosity have much to do with the person I am today. Today, she is living out west, and married to a wonderful man, and so deserves every ounce of happiness that ever comes her way. I know she still worries deeply about the state of humanity, and hope she never let's it take away from what she has in the moment.

God bless my Trisha, keep her well, keep her happy, and, most of all, let her feel the optimism that should accompany a life so well lived. When I grow up, I want to be just like her.