3 and 1/2 Weeks

When Patrick was a young man, he still believed that if you made a promise, you had to keep it, no matter what. Perhaps that's why he's the only person I've ever met that was ever literally bullied into a relationship he had no interest in. It went beyond a pity date, it lasted 3 and 1/2 weeks.

When we were in our twenties, we met this girl named Odessa. She was a petite woman but had the thickness that comes from being a life long swimmer. What Patrick remembers most about her was that her hands and lips were always chapped because of all the time she had spent

in the water.

For the next six weeks, Odessa began one of the greatest campaigns to win someones affection ever. It was truelly impressive. Not only did she make her intentions clear to him, but also to any woman who came near him. Every he went, Odessa was there.

Finally, after a few months of relentless campaigning, Odessa slipped him her number at a party and begged him to call her. She cried real tears and said, voice cracking "don't say you're gonna call me, and not call me, please, promise me you'll call me". Patrick, in an effort to make her stop crying, promised to call her. He really took that promise to heart.

So, later that week, Patrick called Odessa. She suggested that they go to "pitcher night" at a bar. Everywhere they went that night, she would marvel at him. She clasped his hand, and repeated over and over "I can't believe I'm here with you, I can't believe it" as if she had won the lottery. This was her Cinderella moment.

When they first got to the club, Patrick pulled up two chairs and sat in one of them. Much to his surprise, she sat in the same chair. She looked like she was in heaven, and he looked like he was in hell.

It's still up for debate what turned Patrick off the most; the chapped skin, her taste in music , or her approach, but he just wasn't interested. She was the singer for a bland bar band that played bland 80's covers.