Gov'na Ventura and the Truth

Generally, I avoid conspiracy theories because I appreciate the government lying to me.  Ignorance really is bliss and I have more than enough information to keep me awake at night as it is. 

Lately, though, RWC has had the nerve to drag me kicking and screaming from my self-crafted cradle of bliss.  That's the thing with these brainy guys, they're all the time making you think.  He obviously didn't understand that I was trying to seduce him into my cradle.  I need to work on that.

Anylibido, my biggest area of interest, or as RWC would say, "my specialty", is chem-trails.  I never knew anything about no chem-trails until we went to a UFO/Conspiracy convention. I always agree to attend these things with him because RWC is so sexy, smart, and funny, that I'd probably attend a care cremation ceremony at Bohemian Grove just to be close enough to smell him.

At the UFO convention, there was this speaker that talked about clouds.  He said that the long, flat clouds that seem to be made by sky writers aren't really clouds afterall.  They're the government seeding the skies with something and nobody knows with what or why.  I've been obsessed with them ever since, because suddenly those damn sky writer clouds are everywhere, and sometimes the skies over Cincinnati look downright plaid, and you know that just ain't right.

The other day, RWC mentioned that he saw a conspiracy show that is hosted by Jesse Ventura. This caught my attention, because Jesse "the body" Ventura went from being a famous pro-wrestler to a one term Gov'na of Minnesota (those Minnesotians must really love their pro-wrestling), to a conspiracy specialist. There's a career path you don't hear of very often.

The show is very confrontational and in your face.  Everyone calls Jesse "gov'na" and in return, Jesse promises to never stop confronting "the man" till he finally gets to the "truth". This all seems very comforting, since Jesse, afterall, is "a navy seal, gov'na, and fighter" which he reminds us of repeatedly. 

Having sat through the first sixty seconds of  "Conspiracy with Jesse Ventura", I came to the hard realization that this man has no credibility what-so-ever.  Why?  Because Jesse Ventura is a fucking bald man with a long ponytail made up of his last five hairs.  That's why.  My breaking point came when he looked straight into the camera and said something to the effect of "people not being able to handle the truth".

I'm sorry, but after that, I find it hard to get with the rest.  If you are in denial about being bald, what else do you deny? After that, there was nothing "the body" Ventura could tell me about the truth that I would ever believe.  I'm sure he swears he never used steroids either. 

Maybe Gov'na Ventura should just stick to radio, I hear there's more credibilty there.  So there you have it.