Patrick and the Truth About that Weed his Mother Found

Once, about five million years ago, Patrick was playing at Shipley's with his old band, The Thangs. Shipley's was a Clifton bar, once on McMillan, and then on short Vine.

On this occasion, Patricks mother showed up with his Aunt Mary and was sitting at a table in the back with all the Cousins, Aunts and Uncles. Everyone is talking at once and having a great time.

Suddenly, to everyone's surprise, his mother produces a bag of weed and slams it down in the middle of the table. Everything goes completely silent.

"I found this in the boys jeans" she announces.

"That's mine" Patrick declares, because it really was.

"Then why did I find it in your brothers jeans" she asks.

"Because I was wearing his jeans" he says, because he really did.

"No, it's not yours." she insists, "It's you brothers and I'm keeping it" and with that, she put it in her purse.

For whatever reason, she absolutely refused to believe that the weed could ever belong to Patrick.

Thus began a conversation that would be repeated though out the next 25 years.

A few days after his mothers discovery, Patrick was still trying to convince her that the weed was his.

"Why are you trying to cover for your brother?" she asked

"Because it's mine, I paid for it and I want it back."

She still wouldn't believe that it was his.

For years and years, Patrick never forgot about this weed. The fact that his mother wouldn't believe it was his bothered him on some level.

So he asks her on a regular basis what she did with it. Did she smoke it? Did she throw it away? How did it make her feel?

The answer has always been the same "I smoked it with your Aunt Mary."

Patrick always follows this with "How did it make you feel?"

His mother always laughs and says "just great".

Last week, Patrick asked his mother for the hundredth time,

"What did you REALLY do with that weed?"

She knows exactly what he's talking about, and says "you mean your brothers?"

"No", Patrick is still insisting, "Mine".

Maybe the years had softened her, or, perhaps, she finally got sick of having that damn conversation. But what ever the reason, for the first time in all these many years, her story changed.

"Well, we didn't actually smoke it, but we did burn it. In an ashtray. At the Corner Pub."

So Patrick asks "How did it smell?"

She says "It smelt OK"

Patrick is smiling now and asks "Did the smell make you hungry?"

She says "I don't know, why are you still asking me about this."

Finally, after all this time, Patrick said what he had been waiting all these years to say.

"Because I replaced it with oregano when I stole it back from you!"

And so they came full circle, by way of the scenic route around the block.