When Trisha Got Married

Trisha was the very first close friend I had to get married. She dated her husband for a couple of years, he was ten years older than us, very grown-up, and very much her polar opposite. He was very responsible, made good money, and loved Trisha desperately. He went about winning her over with every ounce of the salesman he was, and he was a great salesman.

I, of course, hated him instantly. Both Trisha and I were raised in matriarcle households, and I didn't know nothing about no alpha male. Eventually, the Boss won me over, but I had to have been the most belligerent, cranky-ass maid-of-honor any poor bride ever got stuck with. Trisha was also my matron-of-honor when I got married years later, and she was so wonderful to me, which was punishment enough for my earlier behavior. Damn, I'm pissed at myself to this day about being such a shitty maid-of-honor.......more like maid-of-horror.

Anyimabitch, Trisha marrying the Boss changed both of our lives. It introduced us both to what we thought was how normal people lived. The Boss had a big grown up job at a very well known company and was very successful. Eventually, he started his own distribution company and became extremely wealthy. One of the fun things about him was that he liked to spend his money keeping up with the Jones's, and that shit was too fun. I liked it...there, I said it!

Soon after they married, Trisha and the Boss moved to Atlanta. It was the first of two moves around the country that Trisha never returned from, except for the occasional visit. But in true-blue Trisha fashion, she would send for me no matter where she lived, and I would always go.

When Trisha and I get together, we hang around. Neither one of us were really raised to be domestic and neither one of us were particularly motivated when it came to house chores, nor were we very particular. The Boss, on the other hand, was a neat freak, wanted things done just so, and God forbid they ever ran out of paper towels. Everything was always fully stocked and in its place.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing. In many ways, Trisha and I needed adult supervision. He had a way of keeping us on the straight and narrow. We were not the most structured of girls. Like I mentioned earlier, Trisha and the Boss were polar opposites.

As the years went by, they became wealthier and wealthier. It was were I learned the concept of "when one of us do well, we all do well". Trisha is extremely low maintenance, and I think she always felt secretly guilty about having so much money.

She is not a shopper, not into clothes, doesn't care that much about "stuff". What Trisha did love doing was giving away the Boss's money. Not spending it, giving it away. If times were tight for me, she'd pay my rent. She loaned me the down payment for my first car. I have sat with Trisha and watched her write check after check to ALOT of charities. She wrote those checks once a month, every month. The Boss and Trisha took me to swanky places, on vacations, and were so good to me, it was like I had married well. Trisha, even before her good fortune, was always giving and generous and now she really had the tools to work with. If her family ever wondered why I always tried to be so good to them, it was because Trisha was always so good to me. You play it forward.

The Boss was often frustrated with us. There was what I like to refer to as "The Hamburger Incident of 1985". They were living in Atlanta at the time, and had two small children. The Boss traveled a lot, and Trisha was left to take care of the babies. I was in town visiting, and as soon as the Boss hit the runway, we hit the chill mode.

Before he got back, we went to the grocery store, which was a huge endeavor because the Boss liked to buy in bulk. Trisha bought this huge mega lump of hamburger, which would be dived into smaller sections once we got it home.

When the Boss got back from his business trip, everything seemed cool. We never got around to breaking up the hunka hunka hamburger, so it remained in the fridge. Everyday, the Boss would ask if we had done the hamburger. Everyday, we forgot. Finally, on the third day, we hid it in the freezer. When the Boss discovered it there, HE WAS SO PISSED! I, of course, was mesmerized, because we had done much worse things and he never got that pissed.

Eventually, they moved out to the land of fruits and nuts. Yes, they went west, where Trisha still lives today. She's no longer married to the Boss, and I'm no longer married to mine. Looking back on it, though, those were some great adventures that we would never have had, had Trisha not married the Boss.